What do I really want?
I can say that I really want a boyfriend, an amazing God-centered relationship. I want to be married and have kids that hear how amazing God’s love is. Yes, these are things I truly and wholeheartedly want.
But what do I really, truly, deeply want?
To know I am loved in the entirety of what that word means. To know that fact constantly, consistently, relentlessly. I forget too often that I am loved, that I am even lovable, that who I am is bigger than who I think I am. I doubt myself most of the time and the decisions I make sometimes I can’t stand behind. My insecurities desire counsel and reassurance, the comfort that things will be ok. Fear causes me to flee, whether it’s the start of something new and unknown or the end of something so dear to me. I need a love that pursues after me and will follow the bread crumbs of my broken self. I need to be healed of my past scars and the weight lifted off of all my emotional baggage. I want to be seen, known in all that I am and in that light loved and embraced despite my obvious and hidden imperfections.
All that my tiny heart has ever desired is all Jesus is and more.
How crazy is that.